January 5, 2011

Our 15 year old son only had an awakening for
a couple of days.  He is back to the same old habits.  He was gone most of
winter break, only coming home in the morning to sleep and sneak out
again.

Saturday night, he told us that if he was allowed to go to a friend's
house, he would get up in the morning and go to church with us without any
argument.  So we gave in.  The next morning he refused to get up.  When
his mother reminded him of his promise he swore at her.  She told him that
he needed to make some major changes in his life if he plans to continue
to live in the house.  He told her that he will be gone then.  When we got
home from church, he was gone and we could tell that he had been through
several of the bedrooms in the house.  That night, I sent him a text and
he told me that he was kicked out of the house.  I responded that we love
him too much to just send him on his own at 15.  I reminded him of the
statement that he wanted to make some changes in his life when we brought
him home from the police station and we are willing to help him to make
those changes.  He responded "I don't really anymore."  I sent him a
message "We love you too much to just let you out on your own.  If you are
not willing to make changes, we will work something else out.  But we have
to know that you are in a safe environment."  At this, he stopped texting
me.  I started calling around and found him at the second house that I
called.  He came home on his own then.

Monday night, our middle son realized that his new mp3 player/camera that
he received for Christmas was missing.  Tuesday morning when I went to use
the computer, I realized that the USB cord for the mouse was also missing.
I asked our middle son if the cord by any chance fit his mp3
player/camera.  He told me that it would but he had his own short cord
that he would use to charge it and never used the mouse cord.  My
suspension is that our 15 year old son took the mouse cord with the mp3
player/camera to sell it.

Our 15 year old also got a iPod nano for Christmas that one of his friends
was selling to get money to buy presents.  We have noticed that he has not
been listening to the iPod since after getting it for Christmas.  When
asked about it, he tells us that it is around somewhere.  We now are
wondering if this was a setup with his friend to get the money to pay off
a drug debt or to buy more drugs and that after Christmas, he gave the
iPod back.

We have also received our son's grades.  A B average student has now
received one B (from a teacher who just transferred in from the
alternative high school that was closed and knows how to work with
troubled youth), 4 Ds, and an F.

We have called a boarding school for troubled youth but there tuition is $5,000
a month.  Since my paycheck is no way near that much, there is NO WAY that we
can afford this.  I then called another program.  I was informed that even
before approaching the insurance
company to have him admitted that he would need to go into the hospital
for two days for a psychological evaluation.  When asked if he had any
suggestions on how we can get our son to do this, he responded that this
is the biggest obstacle that he sees over and over.

We feel like whenever we try to help our son, we hit a brick wall.  First
the police tell us that if we suspect him using drugs to call them and
they will conduct a drug test.  We do this and are told that they cannot
administer a drug test but that we can take him to the hospital and have
them administer the test and that will let us know as parents what we are
dealing with.  We already know what we are dealing with -- we need some
legal percussion.  We try to get him to go to counseling and he refuses.
We talk him into going to a 12 step program and he goes once (if he really
did go at all -- which now I am starting to wonder about).  We try to get
him into a residential program and either it costs too much or he needs a
psychological evaluation -- which he will refuse to go to.

We know this has to stop, for our family and for our son.  But at 15 years
old, we cannot send him out on his own.  We realize that we cannot do this
on our own, especially since we are constantly  hitting brick walls.  We
somehow have to find someone that can help us find help for his.

He has pleaded with us to emancipate him.  He has posted it on
his Facebook page:

SON
i wana get emancipated
August 31, 2010 at 6:06am via iPhone ·
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FRIEND #1
 go for it.
August 31, 2010 at 7:15am · LikeUnlike
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FRIEND #2
Me too brotha me too
August 31, 2010 at 8:34am · LikeUnlike
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AUNT
What's up, buddy?
August 31, 2010 at 4:05pm · LikeUnlike
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MOM
n consequences are not always easy to
live with, but good or bad they are always there!
August 31, 2010 at 6:57pm · LikeUnlike
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SON
yah watch the next week and say that to
yourself
August 31, 2010 at 7:32pm · LikeUnlike
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FRIEND #2
Dude Im movin out soon and we can try to get
an apartment together, Im not movin out till Im 18 tho but
thats only 9 months
August 31, 2010 at 8:23pm · LikeUnlike

SON dude im down i wana move out soon as i can
August 31, 2010 at 10:31pm · LikeUnlike
o
FRIEND #2
Hell ya brotha, my homelife sucks sometimes, I
know ya got it bad, haha I laughed so hard at that story you
told me at school today about bible school lol
August 31, 2010 at 11:10pm · Like

He has even talked to the police officer at school about being
emancipated.  The police officer told him that it is not that easy and he
has never seen a judge actually emancipated any teenager.